Unrecovery: Agonistic Porosities: consumer, survivor, unrecovered
"The medical notion of porosity can be seen as pathology.
A stable system operates in productive and perceptive flow. Stable porosities, full porosities or otherwise.
My porosity is better without public mental health system porosity. And that's a stat."
After nearly a year in a medicine-taking a spectrum between zero - PRN - and an unwarranted or avoidable expernsive intake I see the topology of public mental health and the consumer as interrelating porosities.
To depathologise porosity is a health-politics I practice. I take a continental theory based approach and say that ontology, universally, is porosity. To quote the ancient Heraclitus "it all flows."
So a multistable porosity, protean and adaptive, critical and mad is a "potens" here and not the only ones.
Once a system reaches a threshold of multistable flow it's an act of artistry, intuition, intelligence and spirit, cosmological deterritorialisation and material subsistence in any form. porosity!
Yes I am not averse to dumpster diving in a hip foodie suburb or living in best bivouacs by the coast away from police orders decrying the flows of capital, embodied in Martin Place pedestrian traffic is being obstructed by your anti-bellcurvist appearance.
May all forms, dynamic, vitalist, panpsychic, physical, materialist or otherwise, of life blossom in autocorrelative relations, hyperchaos or superdeterministic.
Do I want to help? My wants are mostly insignificant, of course bar to myself, and even then, they annoy sometimes.
the stranger in me, endocrinous, with or without intention, helps. As annoyance it is agonist to my self/s/tates and the possibilities of leakage to others external is a likelihood. It contributes. And unlike the health-politics stuffed shirt who says vexation is unhelpful, it's helpful or else you won't know what you're meant to help with. My vexation is your issue.
But I walk away too.
once adaptation against a hard surface - and for me that's legality, and love. love including care of my self/organs/ wave functions/ ideations of literal butterflies in my stomach as moving or moveable feast, to include some sacred bestiary.
my non-self and not necessarily monistic individuation is the result of variegated deluge of chemical interference from public mental health. I happily announce as divorced by the historical power of God and someone's else Right.
I and the states prior to its enunciation as pronoun, as witnessed above, is oyster, grit, pearl, a swarm of butterflies, cool rheology, cartographer, poet and conceptualist of philosophy and physics. A writer, and ingressor of characters, including blogging. And after all that, in the words of an actor in a Pasolini film extricated "I tremble with joy"
In quotidian terms. I'm doing alright without the inexact science and phenomenology of the psychiatric medical model. Doing without is one testament among many. My risks in self treatment are less than yours as present state.
Biostatistical models of relapse, much like medication, I've been told will be around all my life. I am here, maintenant, to say relapse models as such are health-politics scare campaigns. coalface mediscare as I wave, in non compliance, community treatments good bye.
I must thank peer work cert iv curriculum. The trajectory to individualised consumer advocacy to self-advocacy contributed here also makes peer workers a mandarin class. Perhaps political collective advocacy as a broad movement is really done for. not just bestowed to the employed, bloated with a self-defeating servile individualism though important part of the business model.
As long as the government supports peer work, as long as the medical establishment insists and defines peer work as never being about non compliance, AND not withstanding even if the employed mad have come off medications themselves, any fall of psychiatry, or the lesser impacting dehospitalisation, is a Fabianist project of waiting. In all administrative glory the employed are paid, the consumer may live a life kafkaesque, shortened with psoriasis up to their metaphorical necks.
In a wilful contrarianism to the hospital business model and including peers and consumer advisors, anyone paid, anyone paid in this world, everyone and everything including nothing and all supersets - I raise to you all a 1.25 litre bottle of coke and smoke
in excess of Warhol's egalitarianism of coke between homeless and president; and poet Frank O'Hara's "having a coke with you". Bottoms ups
