Memoir on Chronosthesia
On the 10 March 2017 I asked my registrar about stopping psychiatric medication after 20 years plus and near fatal side effects. Much like a Minkowski Space a pill is preceded by an array of states over time. Once popped, a pill can produce an array of states over time. On either side the array ain't pretty.
The wristband to my watch came undone. It's fastened pretty well though and always plus still.
In October of that year I got the mind of a 25 year old – as pop science likes to promote exercise's promoted benefits. The attainment was transient. The power of the perceived phenomena of an interioceptive chronsthesia was superlative. The memory is permanent. The desire for working back to and towards that state is a remainder-of-life generative.
The emergence of my fundamental internal state winding back to a time where I was pre-medicated was an epiphany. A physical and abstract one. This allowed me to access the notion of bilaterality and consequently, retrocausality. What happened to me, inclusive of prior medical non-adherence to prescriptions to the event, changed the past. All of it has been affected.
Interioception is one of our senses. Sound, smell, sight, hearing taste, our bodily position in space (including balance - proprioception) and our sense of the internal (like hunger for example – interioception.)
Chronosthesia is a hypothesis. Time-based synaesthesia is an already referenced pop term. We hear of it as mostly as visual. Some people look out a window and purview an image but the image is perceived of as another time of the calendar. My story Visual Perigee is like that.
Internal time-based synaesthesia is for me when I feel my entire physiological lived experience of immediacy wind back in time. The past array of myself moves ahead in time and somewhere they both bounce into each other. It was transient, to repeat myself. A feeling of a couple of hours of a regeneration. A diverse crosstemporal node. This event I now have as like grafitti in the concrete and I pass it by everyday. To. Fro.
